I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
