Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
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