I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
