based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
