Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
