how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
