I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
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