If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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