I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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