lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
