New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
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