He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
