i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
