Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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