it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
