what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
