Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
