i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
