i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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