Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
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