I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
What's dad's email?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.