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• (+44): View more from England

  You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.

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• (219): View more from Indiana

  Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  As shirtless as possible

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.

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• (207): View more from Maine

  I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun

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• (805): View more from California

  Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job

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  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

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• (253): View more from Washington

  Pants off. Spirits lifted.

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• (907): View more from Alaska

  I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us

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• (858): View more from California

  I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.

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