"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Your penis caused this!
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize