Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
she smelled like a LAN party
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.