so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....