I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
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