It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
