Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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