who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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