She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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