Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
