Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
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