Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
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