Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize