it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize