he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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