Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Randomize
