I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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