imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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