but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
