I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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