U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
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My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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