For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
It's shark week go big or go home
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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