I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
