lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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