I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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