Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Randomize
