Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
