Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
you had me at cake vodka
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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