so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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