What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Randomize
