my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I will pee on everything he values.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I am naked and annoyed.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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