Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Randomize
