And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Boobs are out for the taking
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
