Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
