like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
