Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
