Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
