you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
