I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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