I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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