is your mom at the bar?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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