What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize
