Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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