So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
